good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
As shirtless as possible
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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