Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The uberlube is also flammable
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
