Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
