I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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