Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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