Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
