some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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