I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
