AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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