yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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