You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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