It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
