He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
