This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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