therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
