3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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