If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
