When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
