what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
