I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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