First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
