My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
