dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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