She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
