Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
40s are totally the cure
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
