Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
