At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
