this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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