god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
