You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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