Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
