the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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