So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
