Buhtt sex?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
