new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
