when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
