I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
