But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
