I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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