ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
