he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
They are going to name an STD after you.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
