I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
