i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
