he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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