This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
