I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
