I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
In other news, I just burned my penis
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
