bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
