i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
