i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
