best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
