Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
